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			Master_Chief189  
2:02 pm | September 14, 2003 
			I am just going to Change the name of the sires and rewriting it.
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			Master_Chief189  
8:58 pm | September 8, 2003 
			I am changing my name and rewriting the series
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			Master_Chief189  
8:31 pm | September 8, 2003 
			I will use Mc 1/4 of the story next time
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			Mainevent  
8:00 pm | September 7, 2003 
			Also, you made it seem like they just get to places instantly.
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			'Nosolee  
1:35 pm | September 7, 2003 
			yep, 9/10
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			Master_Chief189  
1:19 pm | September 7, 2003 
			It will take me longer to come out with the next because i am working on all of your advice
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			Mainevent  
7:26 pm | September 6, 2003 
			Yea, don't overuse the Master Chief if you do have him.  In my story I try to have him in their some of the time, just because he is the baddest ass mofo ever to walk through a gameworld, but he isn't the main character.
  .....do I even have a main character?  All well.
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			Alpha Lance  
5:13 pm | September 6, 2003 
			Pretty much agree with everone here. 9./10
  Alpha Lance Creator of Halo Trilogy
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			Dispaiser  
4:06 pm | September 6, 2003 
			" It is okay, but it made your story crummy to use the Master Chief again. Like everyone says, Bungie is right, not you."
  Look at what i started...  I would advise the same things I did before though grammar was better.
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			Brendan Harther  
12:34 pm | September 6, 2003 
			I'd like to second Sergeant B's comment and also, you skip through fight scenes very fast. It is very, VERY short. And you don't have any description of the battle,or how the space looked like. Those are just some tips for your next chapter.
  PS-Don't use the MASTER CHIEF in your next story, okay?
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			Master_Chief189  
12:32 pm | September 6, 2003 
			Hi everyone
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			Sergeant B  
12:32 pm | September 6, 2003 
			It is okay, but it made your story crummy to use the Master Chief again. Like everyone says, Bungie is right, not you.
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