halo.bungie.org

They're Random, Baby!

Fan Fiction


Comments for 'New ODSTs: The Outpost'



Sean
6:56 pm | June 15, 2004
It was good but confusing But it was good I have to say.
343 Salty Beans
6:25 pm | June 15, 2004
YES NICK DR. PEPPER RULES!

I've got a 20oz next to me right now....mmmm....*nurses bottle*.
kirpan
5:58 pm | June 15, 2004
whats with all of the enhanced armour withe integrated grenade launchers. thats just too much



"my name is kirpan"
Helljumper
11:31 am | June 15, 2004
MCC when don't u agree with me

ODST

lol
MC's Cousin
12:29 am | June 15, 2004
When my personal opinion conflicts with yours, for one. Or when I feel like not doing so. But most of the times of late, your opinion has proved to be agreeable with mine.
Don't think I'm agreeing with you just for the pure sake of it.

Signing Off


MCC
Nick Kang
7:53 pm | June 14, 2004
I don't like Coke. I like Pepsi and Dr. Pepper...
"Docta Peppa, you make the world taste betta, docta Peppa y--"
Oh sorry, got carried away. The story was okay, and I see everythin has already been said, so I'll just leave it to the Commentor Specalists.

NK
MC's Cousin
4:17 pm | June 14, 2004
I'll admit I didn't finish that. I am inclined to agree with Main, Helljumper, and 343SB. The code is crutial to a story, and it just won't be its best without it. ODSTs need to be written about with care (they have specific attitudes and actions; read the books to get a much better idea!)
Spartans would do much in a space battle unless they board the other ships, and your story was so jumbled and uncoherent, I couldn't keep track.

This storyline could have been good. But you should have stretched it out. You shoved what could have been a whole series in a group of poorly written paragraphs. I might have enjoyed this had you put more effort and time into it.

Overall: listen to the comments, and use them. I know you can hear us, now you better listen, and use the advice.
"What's the good of looking into a mirror and seeing that your apperance isn't its best, and then not taking any action to fix how you look?"

Signing Off


MCC
Mainevent
3:27 pm | June 14, 2004
ODST's aren't against it per se, they juust believe that they make you freakishly unhuman. And what's the point of fighting for humanity if you aren't human?
Helljumper
2:36 pm | June 14, 2004
Please stop butchering my ODST, i don't appreciate it. The story was confusing and rush, more like a summary that an actual story. YOu basically made the ODST like Spartans by getting them all that technology and enhanced suits, ODST are against that because it takes away the human characteristics. Don't include my ODST in your story please.

ODST
footballplayer
1:10 am | June 14, 2004
There's a prequel in there, and the corvette got 3 kills mostly due to the SPARTANs.
343 Salty Beans
12:48 am | June 14, 2004
Overall, pretty good. I enjoyed the 'Coca-Cola' touch, though I'd like to think Coca-Cola would have had a hostile takeover by sweet, sweet Dr. Pepper by now.

But back to the point. A few things were off. For one, how can a flamethrower be 'charged'? Enlighten me on this one.

Another thing was "The group posed for a picture taken by a Navy assistant and staggered into the HEV." 'the HEV'? I think you meant 'their HEVs', so I'll let it slide.

And you made the Majestic seem like a supercruiser. Isn't a corvette a small trnasport vessel? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Keyes and Halsey used a corvette (which was defined as vulnerable and undefended)in their first meeting w/ John. I don't think a corvette can get three cruiser kills...

And use the code!!!! Go look in the fanfic rules to get it...after all, I'm not gonna email it to you. What do you think I have, effort and time? You must be nuts.

Otherwise, excellent, especially the cliffhanger @ the end. A 7.9/10.
romac1991
12:30 am | June 14, 2004
no joaguar, it said 2553 not 2253


romac1991
Solidus Snake
9:50 pm | June 13, 2004
Yes, seems confusing.
Blue Jaguar
8:04 pm | June 13, 2004
i'm confused, the date kept switching back in forth between 2553 and 2555, and i'm pretty sure i saw a 2253 or something in there.


bungie.org