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Guardian
10:57 pm | July 20, 2004
Nicely written and well put 9.5/10
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Dave Luck
6:12 pm | July 19, 2004
Yes, it gives Jenkins a 'background' kind of. I liked the idea about the playground - the splinter, the drunken driving, and the graduation.
It shows that the soldiers are not a bunch of die-hard marines that just live to serve.
It shows that they were people too. And it's not that you never knew them - it's the fact that you never will.
- Dave.
P.S - I'm not eating crispy fried baby squid with chilis and crackers again. Anything else on the menu, 'thousand-year' eggs maybe, but not squid! Anything but squid! Salt fish: Yumm... Fried Duck wings with sauce: Scrumptious. BUT NOT SQUID!!!
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CoLd BlooDed
11:27 am | July 18, 2004
The flashbacks were calming, in a way, right until they disappeared and he reminded himself he was being taken over.
Do I see a slight resemblance to my story? :P Like at the end where it revealed his name... kinda reminded me of Eternal Confinement.
Anyways, still good, I'm glad I was your inspiration, as you stated on my comment section. ;)
Great job.
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Sentinel
11:09 am | July 17, 2004
Wait, just re-read it. I missed the last paragraph. My bad.
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Sentinel
11:08 am | July 17, 2004
That actually happened to Keyes, not Jenkins.
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Chuckles
8:09 am | July 17, 2004
That is only your second fanfic? The imagery at the end was fantastic. Great Job.
C.T. Clown
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KilltheMonitor
6:50 am | July 17, 2004
Not BAd not bad at all, it is kinda a copy of the flood book but its not bad, i enjoyed reading it
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Red Ghost
3:05 am | July 17, 2004
Oh, and Dave, sorry it upset you so much. But I appreciate that you got so much out of it.
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Red Ghost
2:58 am | July 17, 2004
Hey thanks guys for the motivation. Yeah, "One" by Metallica is a great song. Well, I actually was inspired to write this by The Flood and the awesome depiction of what was happening to Captain Keyes. I hope that isn't stealing. Right now I'm working on a fan fic concerning the many theories behind the Flood's upbringing, nature, and balance of power. Those critters are scary...
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Dave Luck
12:45 am | July 17, 2004
This was so touching. I felt like crying as I saw the soldier's memories flash past him.
This happened to Keyes, but Jenkins was still alive and conscious.
This has upset me so much I cannot sleep at night without wondering why Jenkins had to endure such a fate. I'm a philosopher, and the biggest thing I think is: "WHY?"
And it's even more sad when you are listening to the song "One" by Metallica. See the lyrics, and you'll understand what I mean.
- Dave.
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Havok
6:59 pm | July 16, 2004
Even if he read The Flood or not, this is still a kick ass description of what happened to Jenkins. the book didnt go into so much detail.
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Elitehunter676
6:57 pm | July 16, 2004
Ahhhhhh! I HATE the Flood with a passion. Please, in your next chapter have it set on fire and burned to ashes, then have the ashes vaporiezed and sent floating into outerspace for ever and ever and ever and ever ever ever! Anyway good story. See ya.
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Slit Throat
5:40 pm | July 16, 2004
If you've read The Flood, you know what happened to Private Jenkins.
Anyway, nicely done.
9/10
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