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Comments for 'Shadow Ops II: Chapter One' |
Jaywhit10
12:42 pm | December 13, 2003
Nice story. I liked it quite a bit. Seems very interesting and catches my attention, has a few typos and what nots but its not like no one is perfect. Hmmm this seems pretty cool that all you people seem that you have been posting together for a bit. Anyways nice story, I like to get some support from people, since the last time i posted was when Shadow still had his earlier story going and finished, not the combined one they are doing now. Thanks, I am looking forward to your next story.
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Mainevent
12:13 pm | December 13, 2003
Only four more school days til X-mas break, and I can finally have some time to write. The Genesis Reborn series is gonna be my shortest, but not a single short story. I'll throw something in there to get ya'll all liking it and stuff.
I really want to use Brutes in my story after reading First Strike......
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pooman
11:57 pm | December 12, 2003
im back! i think im back anywayz
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Agent Shade
10:32 pm | December 12, 2003
that was you Walker? well, thanks for the advice lol
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Walker
10:05 pm | December 12, 2003
Hmm... I'm surprised you remember that, Shade. Nobody else does but me. I was Tango709.
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Sterfrye36
10:00 pm | December 12, 2003
I lahked it. (No, that's not a typo) Just one thing (There always is).
Sometimes, an author will change from past tense to present tense. For example:
A heartbeat later, the muddy ground rumbled, as the grenade detonated, sending shrapnel and body pieces into the trench.
Heartbeat later; sending. Two different tenses. It's not a terribly big deal, but it can be kind of annoying...
Say, I thought of a way to get people to read Norah. Repeat after me. *Ahem*
I, AGENT SHADE, WILL NOT POST ANY MORE SHADOW OPS II STORIES UNTIL YOU ALL GO AND COMMENT ON STERFRYE'S BATTLE FOR THE NORAH!!!
How's that for incintive?
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Agent Shade
8:08 pm | December 12, 2003
okay, probably just one thing to clear up...
In Shadow Ops II: Nowhere to Run, i had created it so the Humans and Covenant were allies....during the writing of my first Shadow Ops, a comment was stated by Tango, that an alliance between the Humans and Covenant is impossible, since all Covenant beings worship the Prophets and the Prophets strongly and religiously hate the Humans, therefore making the alliance impossible....i have taken that into consideration and have basically said there is no alliance, the Covenant and the Human race continue to fight...hope that clears some things up....
I support Sterfrye completely, if he comments on my story, he is allowed to "spam" about his story, which deserves comments. Sterfrye's story is called "The Battle of the Norah," a story i had started, but allowed Sterfrye to finish, and i must say, he is doing a bang up job...so, no one "bite his head off" when he says "READ BATTLE FOR THE NORAH."
one minor note: JediKnight, your advice and comment is much appreciated, however i must tell you and clear up the fact that i'm NOT a 12 or 13 year old kid, like some authors here are....i am 17 years old. the mistakes in my stories, from what i've seen from comments are limited, only to a few grammar and spelling problems....those are normal....just had to clear that up.
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JediKnight114
6:42 pm | December 12, 2003
Well Shade i liked it, but i think it could use some more umph ya know, its really good, but i did catch small technical mares like "plasma round" plasma is not a projectile there for its discharge cant be considered a round, like in Staw Wars, the laser is referred to as a "bolt" since its a description of energy. and there was a little bit of choppy description,try to make it flow together instead of "suddenly" thing happening. but over all it was good and i enjoyed it, you got potential kid i like it
PS: read Jaywhit10/JediKnight114's The ONI Chronicals
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FOrunnER
4:25 pm | December 12, 2003
Awsome Shade, way better than your last one. Just one question though, why are they fighting the Covenant? In your last one the Covenant and Humans had an alliance, what happened to that? Or is it to be explained later on? Oh well, good story anyway. 9.7/10, keep up the good work.hf
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Agent Shade
12:51 pm | December 12, 2003
quick question, did anyone recognize the name of the planet? "Vivec"
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Sterfrye36
12:36 pm | December 12, 2003
Okiay, I sorta hate to do this, but with Walker already having said something, and Shade having commented in the Norah, I would like to ask some of you to read it. Yes, I know most of you don't give a whit, but Shade's got my back. To prove it, here'sa a quote from him:
Agent Shade
8:33 PM | December 11, 2003
am i still the only one commenting on your story? dude, you can spam in my story if you want, i'll back you up....this must be read. the fighting was getting a little repetitive, but when you mentioned how the Elite commander (can't spell name) was thinking up ways to kill Jacob, i am so looking forward to the next one. keep writing and like i said, promote your story in my comments section (Read Shadow Ops II also if you want)
Right , Shade? Shade? Where are you, Shade???
*Walks off in stupor*
Okay, now I'll go read the story.
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Walker
11:59 am | December 12, 2003
I've made zero progress on COTGB, but I have the whole first chapter of my next series sitting there and waiting... so as soon as I'm done with Grunt Brigade you can expect that.
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Josh Plev
6:06 am | December 12, 2003
ya, thanks for correcting me on alphabet Sergeant B. I knew i messed up somewhere, but hey,we all make mistakes. I'm still learning all this stuff (the NATO alphabet, units, etc.) in school (JROTC), so if i get something wrong, bear with me or please correct me. Story rocks. I would try to write...but it probably wouldn't come out good at all, so ya. Good job o this like i said earlier. keep it up.
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SOS.Odin
5:44 am | December 12, 2003
i sure wish i had this many comments...
course mine would have to be as good as yours :D
pimp job man pimp
and whens walker gonna write somethin
been a while hasnt it?
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Spartan III
3:13 am | December 12, 2003
Good series. I liked the story...just hated it when you said "super-mac guns" And yes, I did notice the vivec and vardenfall.
But there is one thing I am disappointed in. The other Shadow Ops II was great...who complained about it?
Two thumbs up!
I have to be original...in a non-original way.
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'Nosolee
11:30 pm | December 11, 2003
Nice man, keep it up. As they say after a good capture of the Enemy's flag in HPC CTF "gj".
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Jamirus99
11:08 pm | December 11, 2003
Sergeant B also forgot to add that a 5-man team is a "Fire Team," as in Fire Team Charlie, or Fire Team Bravo.
Cheers.
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Walker
10:12 pm | December 11, 2003
Oh, and read Sterfrye's Norah series.
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Walker
10:05 pm | December 11, 2003
Note: Units aren't always confined to the numbers which Sergeant B presented, though those are pretty regular. There can be platoons with 4 squads for example, each of eight, making 32 men, or, as presented in HTF, Lieutenant McKay commanded something like 120 men in a company. But it's still usually around one hundred. I now realize what Sergeant B mean't by the lack of Brigades, because you don't see many of those around, either, except in special circumstances (i.e., a Special Aviation Brigade). If you have any questions about units, ask Sergeant B. My knowledge of them is about ten years outdated.
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Agent Shade
10:00 pm | December 11, 2003
Sergeant B, read the prologue to this, i explain how i didn't like the old Shadow Ops II series, so i started a new one, plus i switched from Nemesis to Agent Shade again....i like this name better.....
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Snowy_Duck
9:38 pm | December 11, 2003
wow man, i just got done with a WW1 unit in school and our teacher wouldn't stop going on about the tranch warfare. where do you live?! it's be quite a suprise to find someone who likes halo around here (i'm in middle of nowhere)
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Sergeant B
8:59 pm | December 11, 2003
Also, wasn't Shadow Ops II already at like Chapter Six? And wasn't it Nemises who was writing?
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Sergeant B
8:46 pm | December 11, 2003
Hi guys. I haven't been here a lot in a while but I'm back. Now to the point. Josh Plev,
1: IF, and I mean IF there was "Gamma" in the NATO Company names, it would REPLACE Charlie because in Greek, Gamma is 'C' in the modern alphabet.
2: The units are
Team (3)
Squad (9)
Platoon (27)
Company (81 or 108)
Battalion
Regiment
Brigade (Nowadays, Militaries would use Regiments)
Division
Corps
Army
Hope that helped...yeah. I bet you it will. Hope!
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Agent Shade
8:15 pm | December 11, 2003
my thanks to all of you, i'm glad you are enjoying this
i haven't actually studied any of those NATO company names, so i apologize for that guys....thank you Walker for telling me what they really are...i'll incorporate them into my story....thanks again guys
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Jamirus99
7:12 pm | December 11, 2003
Very good, Agent...very good. Two complaints (only!)
"At least half of that number was wounded marines; being carried to the Pelicans Tucker winced at this."
There were a couple of sentences like that, where semicolons were used incorrectly. The proper punctuation would be:
"At least half of that number were wounded marines, who were being carried to the Pelicans...Tucker winced at this."
And I hate it when any author introduces a new "super-ship" in their fics: I've always found in unrealistic that we humans would spare a single ship (especially if it was new) from vital defenses. I would have gone with an old cruiser or destroyer.
In any case, those are just nitpicks. I can't wait to see where this story goes.
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Kyre Sredanee
3:36 pm | December 11, 2003
As always, damn good. (I found a better name than dark-beam, wich wasn't any good for HBO use...)
I wonder what's in store for them down on the planet, there should be a plot starter somewhere down there...
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Steve Ollett
3:31 pm | December 11, 2003
Yep, that's the NATO phonetic alphabet, which was developed in the 1950's to be pronounceable to all NATO allies in the heat of battle. It replaced other phonetic alphabets, for example the US military "able baker" alphabet.
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Walker
1:36 pm | December 11, 2003
Actually, it's:
Alpha
Bravo
Charlie
Delta
Echo
Foxtrot
Golf
Hotel
India
Juliet
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Oscar
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Whiskey
X-ray
Yankee
Zulu
No Gamma. Now, off to read the story...
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Shadowrunner
1:34 pm | December 11, 2003
Ooooooohh, back again, Shade? Long time since I've been here, but it seems you're still making the best of stories. I'm starting my series up again after some long rest, check it out if you want...
Index: 10 (Story's outta this galaxy! w00t!)
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Josh Plev
10:07 am | December 11, 2003
Once again, this rocks. Wicked action, good descriptiona nd everythign, i think it is as good as the prelude if not better. THose battles seemed to be a decription of hell man, but it is awsome. One thing though, the company names. They go Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Gamma, etc. but other than that, its good. I dont know if im right on the order of this, but this is how i was taught. smallest to largest. Squad, Company, Battallion, Division, etc. oh well, its up to you if you wantt o correct/change it. Other than that, it is awosme man. Keep 'em comin'.
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